Your Brain Isn't Always Your Friend

Imagine turning 72 and suddenly finding yourself struggling with something you thought you had long since overcome: low self-esteem.

And I don't mean a little self-doubt now and then. I'm talking about something that was becoming almost crippling.

Day after day, my mind seemed determined to revisit every mistake I'd ever made, every failure, every decision I wished I could change. And, of course, my brain wasn't content to simply remember these things. It exaggerated them, magnified them, and played them over and over again.

It was exhausting.

Here's the thing. I'm 72, but I'm in good health. I fully expect to have many wonderful, productive years ahead of me. I still have things I want to do, places I want to go, goals I want to accomplish.

But I couldn't imagine spending those years feeling this way.

I felt sluggish. Fatigued. Stuck.

It was as though I were standing in quicksand made of self-doubt and regret. The harder I tried to move forward, the more my own thoughts seemed to pull me down.

And it wasn't just about past failures. Some of the worst thoughts were the “if only” moments.

You know the drill. It's like mentally sticking yourself with a pin, over and over again. Nothing changes, nothing gets resolved, but somehow you keep doing it.

I've Always Believed in Self-Improvement

Throughout my life, I've been something of a self-improvement junkie.

Sales training, personal growth seminars, motivational programs, books, workshops. You name it. I've learned from some of the best trainers in the business.

I've always believed that we have the ability to grow, change, and improve ourselves.

But here's what surprised me.

When I found myself in this emotional hole, none of those years of training seemed to come to my rescue.

I knew all the concepts. I understood the principles. But knowing something intellectually and being able to change how you feel are two very different things.

So I decided to seek professional help.

Getting Help Shouldn't Be This Difficult

I made the decision to see a therapist.

Now, I'm fortunate. I have very good health insurance, and I'm grateful for it.

But even with excellent coverage, getting an appointment turned into a four-to-six-week exercise in frustration.

One department didn't seem to know what another department was doing. There were referrals, approvals, delays, and more delays.

At one point, I found myself wondering: What if I were experiencing a genuine mental health emergency? What if I couldn't afford to wait six weeks?

It's a troubling thought.

Anyway, I digress. I do that occasionally. Just ask my wife.

Eventually, about six weeks later, I finally got in to see a therapist.

And I'm glad I did. She's terrific.

But something rather remarkable happened during those six weeks of waiting.

While waiting for my appointment, I began looking for something that might help me in the meantime.

I wasn't searching for a miracle. I just wanted some relief from the constant negativity running through my head.

And then I came across something called SelfTalkPlus.

To this day, I honestly don't remember exactly how I found it.

But something about it caught my attention.

It offered a free 30-day trial. I figured, why not? I had nothing to lose by giving it a try.

That was around March 1st.

And looking back, I'm awfully glad I clicked that button.

Fifteen Minutes a Day. That's All.

The instructions were simple. Listen for about 15 minutes or more each day.

And there it was, almost as though someone had designed a program specifically for what I was experiencing.

No complicated exercises. No journaling assignments. No sitting in front of a mirror repeating affirmations and trying to convince myself that I believed them.

I simply put on my headphones when I took my dog for a walk.

And we walk a lot.

What I found particularly interesting was that I didn't have to concentrate on what I was hearing. The program simply played in the background.

I could listen while walking, doing chores, or working at my desk.

It didn't demand my attention. It didn't interrupt my day.

It just became part of my routine.

Now, I should mention something else about me.

I have ADHD.

Which means that starting things has never been much of a problem for me. Finishing them? Well, that's another story.

Again, ask my wife.

But somehow, listening to SelfTalkPlus every day was easy.

It wasn't a chore. It wasn't another item on my to-do list that I'd eventually abandon.

I just did it.

Every single day.

For the first week or so, I listened exclusively to the Self Esteem program. Then I began exploring some of the others.

And there were plenty to choose from.

I was curious to see what else might happen.

And Then Something Unexpected Happened

Remember that therapist appointment I'd been waiting six weeks for?

Well, by the time it finally arrived, something had changed.

Actually, I felt it might be stronger than it had been before this whole episode began.

The constant negative thoughts had quieted. The endless replaying of mistakes and regrets had largely stopped.

I had energy again. I was looking forward instead of backward.

And I was beginning to notice positive changes in other areas where I'd been using the additional programs.

It was fascinating.

When I finally sat down with my therapist and began explaining why I'd originally sought help, I realized something.

I wasn't feeling that way anymore.

The person who had made that appointment six weeks earlier was not quite the same person sitting in her office.

I still valued having a therapist, and I continue to believe that professional mental health care is important.

But during those weeks, something had shifted.

And from my perspective, the biggest change had come from listening to SelfTalkPlus.

My brain had stopped behaving like my enemy.

Instead of constantly undermining me, it seemed to be working with me again.

And believe me, I've learned something important from this experience:

Your brain isn't always your friend.

Sometimes it tells you stories that simply aren't true. Sometimes it magnifies your shortcomings and minimizes your accomplishments. Sometimes it keeps you trapped in yesterday when you desperately want to move toward tomorrow.

That's exactly where I had been.

And somehow, I had found my way out.

No, This Isn't Woo-Woo

I can almost hear some of you thinking, “Oh, come on. Another positive-thinking program?”

Believe me, I understand.

I've tried affirmation programs before. Plenty of them.

For me, they always felt like work. I had to remember to do them, concentrate on the words, repeat the phrases, and somehow make myself believe what I was saying.

And remember, I have ADHD.

That approach never worked particularly well for me.

SelfTalkPlus was different, at least in my experience.

I didn't have to work at it. I didn't have to force myself to think positively.

I simply listened.

Now, I'm not going to pretend to be a neuroscientist. I don't have a doctorate, and I'm not going to launch into a technical explanation of neural pathways, neuroplasticity, and how the brain processes repeated messages.

There is an in-depth book included with the program for anyone interested in understanding the thinking and research behind the approach.

As for me, I can only tell you what I experienced.

Something changed in the way I was thinking.

Perhaps some of those old, well-worn mental pathways began giving way to healthier ones. I can't tell you exactly what happened inside my brain, and I can't prove that SelfTalkPlus was the only reason I improved.

I felt hopeful. Motivated. Capable.

The things I wanted to accomplish no longer seemed buried beneath a mountain of regret and self-doubt.

And all of this began with something as simple as listening for 15 minutes a day.

Why I'm Sharing This

I'm not suggesting that everyone's experience will be the same as mine. And I'm certainly not suggesting that a listening program should replace therapy or other professional care when it's needed.

I'm sharing this because I know how miserable it can be when your own thoughts seem to turn against you.

And I know how wonderful it feels when that constant internal criticism finally begins to quiet down.

At 72, I have no intention of spending my remaining years arguing with myself about the past.

I have too much living left to do.

Today, SelfTalkPlus remains part of my daily routine. Not because I feel I have to use it, but because I genuinely value what it has brought into my life.

I can't promise that it will do for you what it has done for me.

But I can tell you this:

I'm very grateful that, back around March 1st, I decided to give it a try.